This Is How Every Man Should Be

When you break her heart===[ the pain NEVER really goes away ]

WHEN SHE MISSES YOU===[ SHES HURTING INSIDE]

When she says its over===[ she STILL wants you to be hers ]... See More

When she reposts this bulletin===[ she wants you to read it ]

When she walks away from you mad===[ Follow her]

When she stare's at your mouth===[ Kiss her ]

When she pushes you or hit's you===[ Grab her and don’t let go ]

When she start's cursing at you===[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]

When she's quiet===[ Ask her what’s wrong]

When she ignore's you===[ Give her your attention]

When she pulls away==[ Pull her back ]

When you see her at her worst===[ Tell her she's beautiful ]

When you see her start crying==[Just hold her and don’t say a word ]

When you see her walking==[ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]

When she's scared===[ Protect her ]

When she lay's her head on your shoulder===[ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]

When she steal's your favorite hat==[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]

When she tease's you===[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]

When she doesn’t answer for a long time===[ reassure her that everything is okay ]

When she looks at you with doubt==[ Back yourself up with the TRUTH]

When she say's that she like's you==[ she really does more than you could understand ]

When she grab's at your hands===[ Hold her's and play with her fingers ]

When she bump's into you===[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]

When she tells you a secret===[ keep it safe and untold ]

Pictures, eh?

I was bored so I decided to take some pics. Editing was easy, all I had to do was a little bit of basic touch-ups like fixing the blur, and resizing.

This Makes Me So MAD!

I hate to see people together. I hate to see people say they're in love. I hate that because I want to be like them. I want to have someone say they love me and actually MEAN IT, not to just try & get what they want from me. Thought I had that, got played & didnt get an apology. Its hard to get over but I'm trying my best.
Dudes in my generation are a HUGE disappointment. They pick the girl whose gonna give them the brain over the girl who has the brain & the heart just to get some quick excitement. This is the MAIN reason I'm always left in the cold , alone and brokenhearted. They don't want a girl who has enough self-respect for myself to wait until marriage to have sex instead of giving it away free to everybody. I want to be loved for more than my 'body parts' because I'm more than that but thats all these young dudes see. I don't understand it at all. You should want to take the time to get to know me but instead you go straight to the sexual questions. I give up. I surrender. I'm done when it comes to love because no dude wants to take the time to get to know me for my personality, talents, interests or future plans & goals in life so fck it....im done with this sht...im about to become a heartbreaker....

Alone

I'm tired of being alone.
I'm tired of going down this road alone.
In the past, other guys have done me wrong.
I hope that you could be the one,
to change my outlook on men,
and not leave me bruised & hurt again,
and have my back through thick & thin,
but all I really want to do is get revenge.
Please be the one to turn it all around,
seeing that my hopes of finding true love are down,
lower than a casket in the ground,
my heart is missing but hopefully you're the lost & found.
Until that day I just sit & wonder, will I ever find Mr. Right?
Or will I always be alone, no one beside me in my bed at night
Being alone is not something that I would recommend,
but my hearts been broken repeatedly, I hope that you can mend, no one wants to be alone.

Confessions...sigh.

What's up yall? I been gone for a min. but I'm back now. I've been doing a few things lately. I've been making beats for my dudes Mercy & TF Poet & and they have been getting positive feedback. [their rhymes are dope] On the other hand, I still have a problem.
I'm a coitophobic/genophobic which means that I am terrified of any kind of sex or sexual inteecourse. There are a few things that cause this like incest, molestation & rape. Fortunately, I have never been in those circumstances because I'm a virgin. I am one of the people who have not had anything happen to them as far as a sexual crime. It just happened.
When I think about sex I get so scared. My heart races, my hands sweat, I get very nervous & my stomach hurts. Idk why, but it literally scares the living s*** out of me.
In attempts to avoid any type of sexual contact, I've strayed further away from dating. Ever since my fear developed, I've grown lonely & miserable. I don't want to be lonely for the rest of my life but I'm scared to open up to guys because most of them won't understand.
So thats my confession...go ahead and laugh....

Wtf? Do I Have 'Decieve Me' Written On My Forehead?

This is the second time i've been decieved to by a guy. What's the problem? I've never decieved a guy. I'm a virgin, so I have self respect for myself. It's better being a virgin than being some 'loose' girl giving it away to everybody and they're uncle and dad. I know I'm not a bad looking girl but I have a little bit of a weight problem that can be fixed with more exercise. I know I have a dope steelo and crazy fashion sense. Last but not least, I'm an intelligent girl whose going somewhere in life. So wtf is the problem. This is why I'm so cold towards guys because when I get comfortable enough to let them in, they break my heart in one of the most dirty ways possible. If you're a guy whose ever tried to talk to me, thats why I treat you cold and I know I should'nt because it was their mistakes.

Let me break down how he did it. At first we would talk for hours on the phone about nothing and laugh at eachother's jokes. We also talked about serious things too like the future, sex, and things like that. One day I invited him to my friend's pool party. The first time we looked at eachother, neither one of us could stop smiling. He acted like a gentlemen the whole time. And when he left he grabbed my hand in the softest, most gentle way ever and I felt something. We continued to talk. The conversations got more emotional and deeper. Then he moved away. He said he was gonna come and see me, he called my brother 'bro in law' and even cracked jokes about marriage and children. Lately it hasn't been the same. I tried calling him, texting him, he didn't answer. So I didn't know what was wrong cuz he'd usually be the one to call me. Then I found out he had a gf. All this time I wasted on him and he does this to me. I had 6 other guys trying to talk to me but I thought he was special so I invested myself in him. Now I'm sitting back lookin like a fool. It felt like he ripped my heart out my chest, stabbed it, put salt on the wounds, spit on it and put it back in my chest. I honestly didnt want to do anything the day I found out (Monday). I can't even look at him without my stomach hurting. I just wish I had a picture of his face so I could tape it to a punching bag and beat the crap out of it. Or better yet him. I'm a bigger person than that and I can move on slowly but surely.

Butterflies

whenever i see your face,
whenever i think about you,
whenever i hear your name,
whenever i dream about you,
butterflies.
whenever i see your face,
whenever i see your smile,
my heart starts to race,
my mind runs wild,
butterflies.
maybe its infatuation or,
maybe its just a crush,
i dont know what it is but,
maybe it can blossom into love,
butterflies.
i dont know why, but i feel butterflies,
fluttering with anticipation,
it makes me nervous and excited,
a feeling i cant explain,
butterflies.